The nearly 20 participants from numerous large law firms traveled from all over Germany and were guests of co-initiator Dentons in Frankfurt for an afternoon. In the form of a workshop, they worked together on specific framework conditions and challenges in the industry. In addition to the idea of networking, there were also a number of substantive topics on the agenda: In small groups, the participants discussed issues surrounding the special challenges of law firms with a focus on the topics of networking, out executives and allies and how these challenges can be met. Visibility, sustainability and the special decision-making process in partner-led law firms were identified as major keywords – top-down solutions from the business world may not be transferable here, but require a specific approach that takes into account the organizational structure of law firms.

Language – especially gender-sensitive language and legal language – is also a topic that D&I managers, networkers, partners and allies in law firms deal with: Are there (legal) frameworks and restrictions for the use of gender-sensitive language in contracts, official letters or communication with clients? Are there formal or informal rules on internal and/or external communication? How are these implemented?

The third large block of the agenda covered the topics of business case & measurability. Exciting discussions about different cultural and legal aspects in the USA and Europe / Germany, for example with regard to the German Data Protection Act (DSGVO), developed as well as exchanges about the use of feedback / survey results both in the concrete implementation and evaluation of measures and for internal business cases.

The will for joint initiatives, the overarching enthusiasm for the topic, and the determined networking among the participants once again showed how valuable the exchange is. The focus was primarily on the legal framework for data collection in Germany (keyword DSGVO), as well as the mutual influence of corporate culture and trust in employee surveys on the topic of diversity, as well as on areas of application of collected data. Interesting discussions unfolded on the topic of the business case including corporate culture ‘for the sake of it’.

PROUT AT WORK would like to thank all participants and co-initiator Dentons for the exciting exchange at this successful kick-off event! With the aim to build networks and to enable sustainable exchange and work on projects, LGBT*IQ in Law will take place about 3x / year.

Night of REalization.

It took 47 years for my life to make any sense at all. That’s how long it took before I was able to admit to myself that something very essential had always been wrong. But it was only then that I fully understood what that was.

Since then, I understand my life, looked backwards at and lived forwards, at all!

As a child, the awareness that I was different was already there, but it was more of a background noise. As time went on, however, these experiences, encounters, and thoughts that always felt so out of place and that I couldn’t really place began to accumulate. These things ran through my life like a red thread and only in retrospect did I really understand them.

For example, the first time I had painted toenails – long before my inner outing – I didn’t think, “Oh, how nice,” but “now it finally looks right!” I wondered about this thought in the same second and didn’t really understand where it came from.

When I was about 15 years old, I was, as I see it today, very close to understanding what was going on with me. For example, I was waiting for my figure to develop in the same way as my girlfriends and wondered why it didn’t. When I look back now, it was quite clear. But at that time I couldn’t and didn’t want to dig any further…

Many years later, it came to – what I call – my “night of realization.” The night when all the puzzle pieces of my life finally fell into place. The night I then had to understand that I am a woman and always have been. That night when everything suddenly and fully made sense. On the one hand, it was simply great to finally have the explanation for everything that had moved me for decades: “Hanna, you are a woman and always have been. From the first day you were born, you have always thought, acted, and felt like a woman.” On the other hand, the realization of actually being a woman was extremely difficult to master and I oscillated back and forth between euphoria and suicidal thoughts! The topic “trans*” was in the room, but I just did not want to accept that I am also trans*.

And of course, I still had doubts, so I often said to myself, “You are crazy! You are sick! That’s why I found it very special that after my coming out there were some people who told me:

That helped me to manage these permanent doubts.

The reactions in the rest of my environment were mixed. My parents didn’t find out that their supposed son was actually a daughter, because they had already passed away before I came out. I couldn’t even begin to estimate how they would have handled it. Part of my family had the most difficulty dealing with it, and they tried to completely hide the issue. It wasn’t until years after I came out that they really started to confront the situation. Today everything is fine, but the journey was long and painful.

Simultaneously, I also had to sort out some important things for myself. My internal outing was one thing, but how should I implement it – especially at work? At the beginning, I still believed that I could keep it completely out of my everyday professional life, continue to pretend that I was a man, and only live out my true self in my free time. How naive I was back then… I then looked for a new job relatively quickly. Of course, I also applied for a job as the woman I am. It took a little while, but today I’ve been with my current employer for almost 8 years, and I took over my current position about 2 years ago.

Looking back, I realized for myself that only since I’ve been truly me, I’ve had something like a career. I always knew I was a good employee, but I could never really stand up for myself. I’ve been working openly as a woman for 8 years now, and I find it amazing how far I’ve come professionally. From night auditor to reception manager and service manager within a few weeks, then site manager with a team of 21 employees and now in my dream role.

I summarize it for myself like this: I first had to understand that I am a woman in order to be able to appear as self-confident as men usually do.

My coming out and my transition have of course not only brought changes at work, but also in the relationship with my wife. We have been together for over 27 years now and we have found that despite the changes and the turbulent time during my transition, our relationship has gained in quality and depth! Most of the people who know us from the past simply accept us for who we are and should there ever be any questions, our message is: Love knows no gender!

For a very long time I was searching for myself and at times I confused this with the search for other, material things – and I had to realize that these things did not really make me happy. I have found true happiness in myself and only since I have found myself, I know what happiness really means!

DEAr Hanna, Thank you very much for YourStory!

Update March 22, 2023

On March 20, the Queer Representative of the Federal Government Sven Lehmann welcomed to the launch event of the Aktionsplan “Queer Leben” in Berlin. PROUT AT WORK, together with numerous organizations, belongs to the circle of those who bring the action plan to life.

The aim of the event was to launch the official implementation of the action plan. The more than 200 participants from various associations and organizations exchanged ideas and formed working groups, which in turn will discuss the concrete implementation of the action plan’s projects in the coming months.

Prior to the event, 78 civil society organizations were selected from more than 140 applications in order to bring as many different perspectives as possible to the working groups. We are very pleased that PROUT AT WORK is also one of the selected organizations and will be represented by our board member Albert Kehrer.

The launch event as well as the formation of working groups represent the first necessary steps towards the implementation of the action plan for a queer-friendly society and we are looking forward to placing important topics around LGBT*IQ in the workplace there in the future.

THE AKTIONsPLAN IN THE WORK CONTEXT

In addition to topics such as the Self-Determination Act, the reform of the Parentage Act, and blood donation, other issues important to the work context were also addressed under the heading of “participation”. These include the following measures:

• Expansion of the diversity topic pillar as part of the “New Quality of Work (INQA)” initiative of the Federal Ministry of Labor and Social Affairs (BMAS);
• Research projects on the situation/discrimination of LGBT*IQ in the world of work as well as improving the promotion of projects for acceptance;
• Development of a guideline for employers that includes the recommendations for action of two studies on the “Third Option” in a comprehensible way for use in everyday work;
• Sensitization of employers, trainers, employee representatives for the concerns of LGBT*IQ employees and applicants;
• Support for raising awareness of LGBT*IQ issues in in-company training;
• Establishment of a dialogue process (federal government, states, collective bargaining parties, church employers) on improving the working conditions of LGBTIQ* in institutions of churches and religious communities;
• Promotion of diversity management in the federal public service;

Additional measures in the area of federal administration:

• Development of an internal federal diversity strategy (incl. creation of further training opportunities, support for the establishment and networking of employee networks and a strategy for diversity-sensitive personnel selection procedures);
• Implementation of diversity issues (incl. LGBT*IQ/gender identity) in initial, further and advanced training (e.g. qualification measures by the Federal Ministry of Defense [BMVg] in civilian and military training and by the Federal Foreign Office in training in the Foreign Service); Regularly strengthening the educational and advisory competence of the social service in the Bundeswehr on the diversity issue; Conducting systematic baseline analyses on the situation of LGBT*IQ (e.g., with the help of employee surveys);
• Sensitization of employees to implicit prejudices and integration in competence requirements/competence models;
• Sensitization and, if necessary, training of employees involved in recruitment processes;

For more information about the plan “Queer Leben”, feel free to drop by the Federal Ministry for Family Affairs, Senior Citizens, Women and Youth.

For more information around trans* in the workplace, the third option, and other workplace related LGBT*IQ topics, we encourage you to check out our free HOW TO guides.

Long Ways.

The first time I had sex with a man, it was still forbidden – it happened in what was then West Germany. Shortly after that, rumours about a newly discovered virus began to spread. Deadly. Soon it was clear that homosexual men were particularly affected. The German magazine Der Spiegel wrote about the “Schwulen-Pest,” a translation of the term Gay Plague. We had to be cautious.

This would not have been possible without fundamental changes in our laws during the last 30 years. What seems to be nothing special today was wishful dreaming or even unthinkable back then.

It has liberated me. I came out when I moved to Berlin, quite late, at the age of 35. My life would have been different if I had been clear about who I was and how I loved earlier. I had been living with a vague idea of bisexuality far too long. Today I think this was also because at that time I could not imagine how to combine my desire to have children and my love for men.

I am very grateful to all those in my life who have encouraged me on this path and made it possible. And I am happy for everyone who clearly knows early on and I understand everyone who needs time for this. The open interaction in queer networks can help and encourage people on this way. And these networks now exist in many federal agencies, including the ministries of the Federal Government.

LGBTIQ* employees still experience discrimination in the workplace far too often. Even small talk at the coffee machine can quickly lead to an unwanted outing. Often enough, not only their well-being at work, but also their professional future depends on the reactions of their superiors and colleagues. But only those who feel at ease can deliver the best results at work. Organisations, companies and administrations can actively contribute to an inclusive corporate culture. On INQA.de you can read how networks or interest groups in companies can help to improve the situation of LGBTIQ* employees at work.

Ending discrimination requires the support of those who are not affected. Through active solidarity (allyship), companies can promote diversity in the world of work. On INQA.de you find five tips on how managers and employees can work for diversity and show: We are Allies!

DEAR ROLF, Thank you very much for YourStory!

RECAP

We were excited to welcome Wolfgang Link as a guest at our PROUT PERFORMER Lunch Talk on Wednesday, February 22, 2023.

Click here for the recording of the interview (German):

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About Wolfgang:

This year, for the first time, the German Bundestag is focusing on queer victims of National Socialism during the hour of remembrance on January 27. As a foundation that advocates for LGBTIQ people in the workplace and their rights, we welcome this novelty. Especially because the struggle for rights and protections under the law for LGBTIQ people can be far from over.

For example, Paragraph 175, which legitimized the persecution and imprisonment of homosexual people in the Nazi regime, was adopted by the Federal Republic after the end of the war. In the FRG and the GDR, homosexuals continued to be persecuted on this basis for decades. Homosexuality has not been punishable in the reunified Federal Republic until 1994.

More information on the situation of queer people in the NS

Identity Updates.

Quite recently, a friend of mine asked me over text: “Are you non-binary?”.

I laughed in front of my phone at first because to me, it was just the most obvious thing. My pronouns were displayed everywhere, from Instagram to Linked In, I would occasionally post the non-binary meme on Instagram, have my cute “they/them” in my work signature even; overally I live a pretty open life.

I also knew that this person didn’t mean any harm, the question came from a genuine place of interest and care. Yet, it remained hilarious to me because I realised one thing: I simply forgot to come out to her and despite all the signs, she actually wasn’t sure, because to her, I appeared to be a man.
I presented like a man, therefore I was one, right? I forgot that it was important to notify people of any “updates” on your gender, sexuality, religion, etc.

I got so used to displaying my identity that I eventually obliviated the fact that it needed updates once in a while and that it wasn’t in fact, so obvious. People had known me for years as Safir, Algerian, queer, gay, ex-Muslim, cisgender, able-bodied, immigrant, low-income, etc. Because it took me so many years to come to terms with how different I was going to be from everyone else in the world, I unconsciously “fixed” my identity the way some get fixed-term contracts.

There was no prerequisite for me to reduce who I was to fit any pre-created boxes.

As a result, my answer to the text was “Yes, I am. Let’s talk about it this weekend :)”. Following this exchange, I had to think about where I was at, as a person. Was I actually Algerian? Well, of course I was, but I had also figured out by now that I identified much better with my Amazigh and African roots overall than the regular national one.

Was I queer? This was pretty certain as well. Gay? Well this needed a bit of an update actually. I first came out as bisexual when I was 18 but people back then always told me I was gay so I accepted it as my fate without questioning it. Over 10 years later, I have to be clear about it: I am not gay. I am indeed closer to omnisexuality than to anything else but also accept to be called pansexual.

What about ex-Muslim? Tough one. I negated this part of me for such a long time because it felt like the part of me society hated the most (even more than my queerness, can you believe?). I can admit now that it was part of a very needed survival strategy to distance myself from how we were perceived worldwide. I was hoping it could offer me the chance to be treated better globally. In all honesty, years have taught me that no matter how far I stood from Muslim culture (from my culture) I would always and forever suffer from islamophobia so I could as well just embrace not only said heritage but also my faith. I also now try to approach Islam from an adult, non-judgmental perspective and I have to make a confession: there is some much beauty and peace in it.

Cisgender Safir? Well, this was a blatant lie. I always knew I didn’t fall under the binary-spectrum but lied to myself and to everyone else as it was too difficult to admit that I was going to “transgress” the common idea of what gender is, that most people wouldn’t ever understand it. It was such a liberating and joyful experience to talk to one of my best friends about it the first time. Their eyes opened and broadened with an incredible warmth. I told them gender to me was a construct I struggled to understand, that I neither felt like a man, nor like a woman; that I neither felt masculine, nor feminine; that I wasn’t feeling like a 50/50 but rather like none at all. While I understand how important gender is for some and respect it; I do not want gender to define me, I feel far from it, like it is of no importance to me. Today, I would call myself agender: a person who does actually not feel like they have a gender. My best friend received the news with a smile, a hug and a simple question: “Will you go by any specific pronoun from now on?”.

What about my non-disabled body? Up to now, I still agree with that statement but who knows what is going to happen in the future? I could write further about all the other sides of my identity, but I believe that by now, you get the image. Updates to me are necessary. Not only for others but mostly for yourself. As I regularly check myself up on how I feel within, I get to have a deeper understanding of who I am as an individual and as a part of my communities. There is so much power in knowledge.

It still happens everyday: on Mondays about gender, on Wednesdays about sexuality. Most importantly, within me it changes every morning. Ever so slightly but with fluidity. Is my experience unique? Probably not. Is my experience universal, absolutely not! So should we expect anybody to live their experiences the same way we do? According to the Western ideology, it appears that everyone should come out.

Trust me, our sole experiences should never be made rules. Coming out is not obligatory. You can also live a beautiful, healthy and positive life without having to go through such intense momenta. Some of us won’t ever come out, and we shouldn’t police them. The way we embrace and empower ourselves, we should embrace and empower them in their own experiences as well.

DEAR Safir, Thank you very much for YourStory!