BI-Lieve in me.

For a long time, I considered it a privilege not to be seen as bisexual. It is both a curse and a blessing that on the one hand you experience less queer hostility on average if you live in a heterosexual partnership, for example – but on the other hand you don’t always experience full belonging to the LGBTQ+ community, or are too quickly labeled as either homosexual or heterosexual, depending on the partner at your side. Such experiences are, compared to the overall picture of queer discrimination, less bad and easy to cope with, whether in the political field, in private or in the professional environment, the latter being in my case the Shine network at PwC Germany.

Pride Month is not only reserved for gays and lesbians – and society still has a long way to go in its development to not only think of the “L” and “G” in LGBTQ+ when it comes to queer topics, but to give all queer people the same treatment. Particularly issues away from the usual binary are still barely a concept for many, or are so foreign and incomprehensible that it’s easy to look away and associate queerness with tried-and-true queer role models, such as only gay men. However, the community is much more diverse and should be visible as a whole.

Admittedly, I also have to say that I personally find coming outs and labels to be incredibly oppressive and outdated at times. Along the lines of “why don’t straight people have to do that?” I sometimes think about, how unfair it is that queer people have to share something as personal as their sexuality publicly in order to avoid being looked at strangely because of their choice of partners. But I do recognize that this is still a very privileged point of view on my part.

Most people don’t have the luxury of such an open environment that any kind of queerness is immediately accepted without much fuss, while it should actually be self-evident nowadays. Unfortunately, however, past but also current events, such as the recent attack in Oslo, only emphasize repeatedly how important visibility of any kind is – and not only in June for Pride Month as a pinkwashing campaign of the mainstream corporations, but all year round without monetary consideration. Whether in the office, on the street or privately:

Therefore, I hope that the current social change will move steadily forward until no person has to live in fear because of his or her identity – which, in the best case, will not take too much longer.

DEAR Ruth, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOURSTORY!

A completely normal life.

I am aware that there are still many problems in the world and that we are far from reaching our goal. Many generations have already fought and many generations will still have to fight for it.

When I look at my life, I am happy. Happy because it is so wonderfully normal. And that is not a matter of course. I feel I’ve arrived and want to look positively at how far we’ve already come.

I have been living with my partner for 17 years, in 2011 we established our civil partnership and in 2018 we finally got married. Each of these events was a celebration with many friends and with the whole family.

There were never any problems getting an apartment. At no workplace did I ever have to discuss my sexual orientation or even hide it.Family and friends have always accepted my life model and never questioned it, rather supported it. There are other queer family members and happy children in their relationships. The circle of friends is mixed (various nationalities, sexual orientation, HIV-positive/negative, men and women) and together we enjoy life. Whether at home, in bars, restaurants, at events, on vacation and whatever else, we openly and visibly participate in life in society.  And the best part is, most of the time I don’t even waste a thought on whether we might not be “normal”. It just doesn’t matter as long as we are doing well and feel comfortable and safe.

My most beautiful experience, which reflects all this, is the acquisition of our wonderful allotment garden. The day we introduced ourselves to the allotment board, we simply received the Nordic dry comment:

It’s just a normal life in the best, most positive sense.

I wish that at some point we would no longer have to worry about who we are, what we do and where we come from. No one should have to justify themselves or take a back seat. It should no longer be necessary to have debates in the future. It should simply no longer be an issue, but a matter of course.

I wish that every person can live their normal life.

Dear Torsten, thank you very much for YourStory!