Beyond male perpetrators and female victims

The keyword domestic violence is mostly associated with heterosexual relationships and a clear distribution of roles. The prevalence of violence in LGBT*IQ relationships, on the other hand, receives little public attention. Only in the last few years has the topic begun to appear in scientific studies.

On one hand, this may be due to the fact that women are indeed more often victims of domestic violence. But on the other hand, the lack of attention to the issue is also rooted in our stereotypical gender image and the ongoing discrimination against LGBT*IQ people. Domestic violence in non-heterosexual relationships is thus doubly taboo.

Violence has many faces

Especially the fact that violence is not always visible to the outside world often makes it difficult for victims to get help in time. This is because domestic violence rarely begins with a fist punch. Psychological abuse, which often precedes physical assaults, also falls under the term domestic violence, as do sexual assaults of various kinds. In violent relationships, the violence used often increases in intensity and various forms of violence intertwine.

More violence in lesbian and gay partnerships?

Violence is also not uncommon in partnerships that do not conform to the heterosexual relationship model. Studies show that people in homosexual relationships are affected by domestic violence just as often or even more often than those in heterosexual partnerships. Bisexual or trans* people are not covered by the already thin body of studies. However, it can be assumed that the situation within partnerships of these people is similar.

Men in particular rarely seek help because of the prevailing stereotype of the “dominant man. Yet homosexual men are just as often victims of intimate partner violence as women. A U.S. study concluded that almost half of all homosexual men – 46 percent – suffer from some form of partner violence.

In general, the number of unreported cases of sexual violence is high. For many people who experience violence in their relationship, the shame and fear of making their suffering public is huge.

Women do not fit the typical perpetrator image

If the violence is inflicted by a woman, it is often even more difficult for those affected to seek help. Because women do not fit the typical perpetrator image, violence in lesbian relationships is still strongly tabooed, and complaints from affected persons are often not taken seriously.

Women – in line with the typical cliché image – are often attributed a rather gentle disposition and a pronounced need for harmony. However, domestic violence is unfortunately not uncommon in lesbian relationships either. Angela Schwarz of the Vienna Anti-Discrimination Agency for Same-Sex and Transgender Lifestyles (WASt) further explains in an interview with the Austrian feminist magazine an.schläge that only three to five percent of those affected in lesbian relationships seek help. In heterosexual relationships, 20 to 24 percent do. Male victims of domestic violence by women also rarely come forward with their experiences.

Counseling services for LGBT*IQ-people are meager

In general, there are only a few support programs and counseling services that explicitly address those affected within the LGBTIQ-community. Even though trans women are generally welcome in German women’s shelters, the Frauenhauskoordinierung e.V. recognizes that there are “large gaps” in support for trans* women experiencing violence. The same applies to male victims of domestic violence.

The Broken Rainbow association, which advocates for lesbian and trans* women and queer people affected by violence, states in its 2019 annual report that “many clients have had negative experiences in general counseling or mental health care” because they experience discrimination of various kinds due to their gender identity. Precisely because LGBTIQ people often experience little understanding anyway due to their deviation from the binary or heterosexual “norm,” special counseling services and protective programs against domestic violence are especially important for these individuals. Help for those affected is offered, for example, by the MANEO project (for gay people affected by violence) or the gewaltfreileben counseling center (for women, lesbians, trans and queer people).

Speaker

Speeches

Acceptance not tolerance

Dr. Sabine Nikolaus,
Country Managing Director Germany,
Boehringer Ingelheim

“We at Boehringer Ingelheim support a culture of inclusion, diversity and appreciation, where people’s differences are valued and respected. We want our people to feel comfortable, so that they can unfold their full innovative power.”

Let’s talk about intersectionality, baby – A personal report

“There is no such thing as single-issue struggle, because we do not live single-issue lives”, says Audres Lorde and is absolutely right. The lines of life are different and varied and no dimension of diversity stands on its own. What does multiple discrimination mean in everyday life and why can privileges and oppression not be offset? A report from a quota refugee.

Nikita Baranov,
Executive Assistant to CHRO,
METRO AG

“For me, intersectionality is a description of the reality I live in, a concept that has never been a concept in my life. But it clearly shows me, that forms of discrimination never stand on their own and if we do not see them, we can not solve them.”

for more togetherness during covid-19

Piotr Specht,
Global Junior Brand Manager,
Beiersdorf AG

“We want to be there for everyone, anytime – especially during this challenging time. This is true externally with our brand NIVEA and also true internally with our network Be You. During Covid-19 being there for everyone has become more difficult, this is why we implemented an online and offline pride week #PRIDEINSIDE in order to show We are here for you, no matter who you are and who you love.”

The DIVA Survey: LGBTQI Women’s Insight 2020

As part of the first ever Lesbian Visibility Week, DIVA Media Group teamed up with Kantar to bring you The DIVA Survey: LGBTQI Women’s Insight 2020. The results of this brand new piece of research capture the diversity of our community, highlight the unique challenges we face as women-loving women and shine a light on an often under-researched group.

Sophia Papadopoulos,
Business Analyst and Global Head,
Pride@Kantar

“There were many really interesting findings within the research: Firstly, the disparity of visibility in the LGBTQI community. Secondly, the differences across age in terms of the language we use and the age at which people come out and thirdly, the experiences of LGBTQI parents and their children.”

Margot Slattery,
Global Chief Diversity & Inclusion Officer,
Sodexo Group

“The different diversity dimensions of Diversity and Inclusion at Sodexo mean so much to all of us at the company, they represent our heart and the people who are the core of our organisation and all of our different traits, background and abilities. They help us to understand who we are and what we need to do ongoing to be sure people feel they are included and belong.”

Panel: Intersectionality

Moderation: Yara HOffmann

Janis McDavid

“I want to live in a world, in which features that distinguish us do not lead to discrimination. In other words, in which it does not matter how we look, where we come from and what prerequisites we have. Here, I see the concepts of intersectionality and personal responsibility as central to standing up for this vision.”

Panel: inclusive language

Moderation: Yara HOffmann

Panel: queer representation in the media

Moderation: Tobias Reckmann

Panel: breaking the glass ceiling

Moderatorin: Dr. Eva Voss

Claudia Feiner,
Project Manager Esports Community,
Porsche AG

“Sich für Diversity einzusetzen war schon immer People Business. Ich stelle immer wieder fest, dass es zuerst um Verbindung und den Menschen im eigentlichen Sinne geht und es erst die persönliche Ebene benötigt, bevor es um Arbeitsthemen gehen kann. Ich sehe wie Projekte in der Praxis ins Stocken geraten, weil dieser Punkt nicht genügend beachtet wird. Kluge Digitalisierung kann uns hlefen, für unsere Anliegen jeweils Verbündete zu finden, Netzwerke aufzubauen und zu pflegen. Uns verbindet mehr als uns trennt.”

talk: LGBT*IQ and racism

Lorenz Narku Laing,
CEO,
Vielfaltsprojekte

“It is perfectly clear that measures in the fight against discrimination always benefit those affected by different realities. The fight against heterosexism cannot be thought without also fighting against racism. Furthermore, it is important that both, in the racism-affected communities and in the LGBTQI * community consciously think about blind spots.”

Breakout Sessions

The power of collaboration

Employee networks play an important role in inclusion. While each network has its own specific goals and interests in mind, the networks can achieve even more impact in the company through further networking and selective cooperation, when it comes to diversity and inclusion. Interactively, we investigate the advantages of networking networks, how this networking can succeed and which best practices exist.

the Dimensions of diversity and stereotypes in diversity communication

Communication on diversity, especially imagery, often solidifies stereotypes that we actually want to break down. The disabled person is shown in a wheelchair, people with an international background by people of color. There are also classic stereotypes for queer people. How can we communicate about diversity in a sensitive and inclusive manner without resorting to the visible (and often wrong) dimensions? How do you achieve good diversity communication that appeals to everyone?

Antonia Wadé,
Diversity Management,
AUDI AG

“The diversity dimensions are both cure and necessity at the same time. We need them for a KPI-driven diversity management. At the same time, we must not make the mistake of reducing the desired “mindset diversity” to measurable and comprehensible dimensions. Because what the dimensions do not show is inclusion.”

Innovation is driven by Diversity – how can we drive Inclusion?

Diversity is the Mix. Inclusion is making the Mix work. But how can we create a culture of inclusion?
In our workshop, we would like to exchange best practises with the participants and generate new ideas. How can Diversity Networks/Employee Ressource Groups work together? How do we bring the dimensions together? How do we manage to see employees as individuals with all their facets? What can individuals contribute?

Denise Hottmann,
Head of Diversity & Inclusion Germany,
Boehringer Ingelheim

“Ultimately, it is important that we see and value our employees as individuals. In all their facets, not just in one. Therefore, we at Boehringer Ingelheim focus on a culture of inclusion that let people be themselves.”

Our new team members: Sandra Stadler, Frauke Becker and Philipp Rossi. Read more about our new employees.

For the fourth time, the PROUT AT WORK Foundation invited senior executives from major German and international enterprises and institutions as well as the auditing firm Ernst & Young for their joint DINNER BEYOND BUSINESS in Düsseldorf. Attendees included representatives from Metro AG Continental, BASF, Boehringer Ingelheim, RWE, Google, UniCredit Bank, Nestlé, OTTO, thyssenkrupp, KPMG, Commerzbank and IBM.
The high-profile company representatives enjoyed the view over the Rhine from the GAP15 skyscraper in Düsseldorf while having a first-class dinner in a casual ambience and listening to the inspiring talk from Lloyd’s director Inga Beale.

“Taunts” are defined as the exchange of teasing comments. This is also how the lyrics of fan songs of the football team of Brighton & Hove Albion, South England, are referred to. However, these lyrics are really homophobic. Brighton is considered to be particularly tolerant of LGBT*IQ, and that’s why many people choose to live there. Calling these lyrics “taunts” is just an excuse for people to say things they should not say – with this statement Beale started her dinner talk.

That was five years ago. “Today, of course, it’s better,” says Beale and winks to the audience. She receives ironic laughter – because everyone knows that not much has changed since then.
“The same thing happened again in a match against Brighton this month, although a referee in France had just interrupted a football match because of a homophobic banner in the fan block,” Beale says.

Of course, it is usually just the minority of the fans standing out with such homophobic slogans. “But it’s often the same minority that also spreads racist slogans, and makes the majority of visitors feel uncomfortable – although they actually love being in the stadium, because they are interested in the competition and the sport, regardless of whether any of the players might be gay.
Nevertheless, there is still no active gay football player in the UK. “Why come out if it does not bring anything?,” asks Inga Beale, the question haunting many gay sportsmen.

Similarities in sports and business

Beale does not start her talk with a soccer story by chance: How athletes are treated in sports competitions really represents how employees are treated in the competitive business world. “Is acceptance and inclusivity in business actually better than in sports?”

For Inga Beale, who began her career in 1982 as an underwriter for international reinsurance at the London-based Prudential Assurance Company, answering such questions is not all about gut feeling. It’s about numbers and facts. As a member of the Stonewall’s Development Council she has access to data that is regularly being collected on equality and inclusion in international working life. So, of course, Beale refers to some statistics:

Although Beale led the OUTstanding list of the top LGBT*IQ business personalities last October and was first on the Financial Times top 100 queer executives list in 2015, she also had to deal with such negative experiences at the beginning of her career.

“When I was in my twenties, I almost left my company. I was disillusioned.” For many years she tried to hide herself, kept distance and even told her longtime partner not to call her at work so she would not come out inadvertently. In 2008, she took her fate into her own hands and came out. “Leading two parallel lives made me sick.” This was like a heavy burden falling off her shoulders.

Dare to change

In 2014, Inga Beale was appointed as the first female CEO at Lloyd’s and became the main driver for creating a culture of diversity and inclusion in the international insurance industry.
In 2015, for example, she launched the Dive-In Festival as a global initiative to promote diversity in this industry. The goal of this event is to give employees the opportunity to tap into their full potential and, at the same time, show decision-makers the business case for looking beyond the traditional definition of diversity.
Since then, the three-day festival in September has been a platform for contemplation and conversations around gender, age, cultural background, sexual orientation, social mobility, beliefs, caring responsibilities, mental health, and physical constraints related to talent development and professional growth.

The truth is: “People who are afraid can never give their best,” says Inga Beale as it turns dark over Düsseldorf in front of the windows of the E & Y floor. Creating an inclusive work environment should therefore not only be a top priority for every executive, but for all employees.
Those who consistently pursue this goal can also change a huge sector like the insurance industry within only 5 years towards being significantly inclusive and LGBT*IQ welcoming.

“I was the first CEO at Lloyd’s that talked about LGBT*IQ. Before there has always been a lack of women and everyone was white. People started to giggle when I used the word “lesbian”, for example. But I kept doing that until my staff used those words themselves and later started their own networks.” And Beale goes even further: What works in one of the most important international economic sectors can also be transferred to national societal structures.
“If global companies that operate in countries where there’s discriminations against lesbians, gays and transgender people would strongly commit to inclusion and acceptance, they could change the core of societies even there,” Beale closed her speech.

“Courageous.” That’s the word that leaps to mind when listening to Beth Brooke-Marciniak, Global Vice President Public Policy and board member at global consulting firm EY (Ernst & Young), during a fireside chat with PROUT AT WORK chairperson Albert Kehrer.

For the third time in a row now, senior executives of major German and international commercial enterprises and institutions had accepted the invitation of the PROUT AT WORK network and come to the financial metropolis of Frankfurt. In a casual atmosphere, they exchanged their views about opportunities and pathways to a more open, diverse and discrimination-free workplace at the DINNER BEYOND BUSINESS over a first-class meal.
Among them were representatives of Continental, BASF, Vattenfall, Coca Cola, Thyssenkrupp, the European Central Bank and SAP.

This year, PROUT AT WORK managed to bring Beth Brooke-Marciniak on board as a keynote speaker and, framed by the spectacular view from Germany’s tallest skyscraper, engage one of the 100 most influential women in the world in an informal personal conversation that allowed for many perceptive insights and powerful statements.

Role models – “If not me, who?”

As Beth Brooke-Marciniak relates how she had not been open about her sexual orientation for most of her life, the audience in the room are quietly thinking, “Pretty courageous.”
For in February 2011, Brooke-Marciniak participated in the “It Gets Better” video campaign that aims to encourage LGBT*IQ teenagers, and spontaneously decided to come out as a lesbian woman in front of the rolling camera.

“What would I say in this video if I was being truly honest,” she had asked herself the previous evening. “I had a message to deliver that I knew was important.”

She and her then-partner had both assumed that coming out would mean the end of her career. However, the reactions to her sensational openness were the exact opposite. “My life changed for the better; from black/white to colourful in an instant. After 52 years.”
But not just that. Her candour also changed how the business world thinks about diversity.
“Our executive level was very proud of me, I received calls and e-mails from young people and their parents and even standing ovations at a subsequent public appearance, which moved me to tears.”

With her spontaneous coming out, she had changed more in one moment than ever before in her life, role model Brooke-Marciniak explains. “I considered it my job and my duty. Who was supposed to do it if not me?”

Business case – “The market imperative”

Introducing the second topic of this year’s dinner talk, Albert Kehrer suggests that attracting the best talent is one aspect of the business-case perspective on creating an LGBT*IQ-positive working environment, and the EY executive adds: “It’s about the market imperative. We need to be as diverse as our customers are. Whether it concerns functionality, quality or innovation – that way, we’re better everywhere.”

Kehrer mentions that the difficulty of assessing the effects of measures that address the concerns of lesbian, gay and transgender people within a business presents a significant hurdle.
“I know,” Brooke-Marciniak replies, “in most countries, it’s not possible to identify as LGBT*IQ within a corporation.” She adds that this makes it difficult to evaluate the effect of an LGBT*IQ-positive corporate policy. “But it doesn’t matter. Because we know it’s an added value.”
Having said that, she believes that forgoing such policies because their value is not quantifiable is just an excuse.

In response to Kehrer’s pointed question whether LGBT*IQ issues should really be given such high priority within corporations, Brooke-Marciniak again responds decisively: “Studies show that corporations that focus on the importance of LGBT*IQ employees are also well positioned with regards to all other aspects of inclusion and diversity, for example in promoting women.”

Allies – “Changing the world, providing safety”

Darkness has fallen, and against the background of the lights of the Frankfurt skyline, Kehrer opens the last third of the fireside chat with the question of why it’s important for a corporation to be an LBGT*IQ ally. After all, in Great Britain as well as in the US, EY specifically supports this group of employees.

“Because we have values,” Brooke-Marciniak replies without hesitation. “All of us are active across the globe. But we have no influence on the laws of individual countries. Many of them are going in the wrong direction, even backwards, and populism is spreading. Our footprints can change the world.”

In response to Kehrer’s question how individuals in corporations can become allies of their LGBT*IQ colleagues, EY board member Brooke-Marciniak points out a host of options for getting involved: being curious and unafraid, for example. After all, she says, it’s not always about specific lesbian-gay-trans* issues but about a fundamental understanding. “One day, it could affect you, too.”
She adds that just recently, at the World Economic Forum in Davos, she had a private chat with a grateful CEO whose daughter came out as homosexual only a short while ago. Having discussed the issue previously had helped him immensely in this situation.

And, she adds, there’s also the “Wow, even him” effect when top management personalities publicly declare themselves allies of LGBT*IQ people within their corporations, facilitating a significant increase in visibility for those employees that HR departments or LGBT*IQ groups themselves could not achieve in this form.

Another important point, she says, is signalling to employees who have come out that you’re ready to help, giving them time but being at their side if needed. “Some people prefer to go back into their shell when they have the impression that they can’t trust their boss and aren’t sure whether his or her openness really means they’re safe.”

Accordingly, 70 percent of employees who haven’t come out leave a corporation over the short or long term, which is why it’s so important to start that conversation and find out what is still standing between them and their coming out.

“Above all, though, it’s important to be aware of conversations that should no longer take place the way they still do, and to say something, because people who haven’t come out yet will definitely take notice,” Beth Brooke-Marciniak concludes the conversation.

Fireplace-Chat with Beth Brooke-Marciniak: